A few thoughts

I was chatting with a friend about all that has been happening recently and the comment was made that I need to be careful what I post on my blog. Now this comment wasn't exactly new, my mom says this to me regularly, but to be fair she doesn't even read my blog. I have tried really hard to share things on here that are related to the trials and triumphs of moving from a city life to a farm life and not all of it will be pretty or fun. I think it is wrong to leave the unpleasant out as it really gives a false picture to someone considering this life.

To move from the city where there are so many more rules for everything and then come to the country where there are few rules, is an adjustment and not always in a good way. This is evident when we look at the differences in how houses are built, my house for example was originally built in 1900 and though there have been 2 additions since then the previous owners were not required to upgrade the pipes as they added on. This results in every pipe material ever used from 1900 on being used on the house. This also causes problems as the old galvanized pipes rust, making it much easier to clog. When the septic tank was installed it was obviously based on the number of current occupants (at that time 2), rather than the number of bedrooms. This means that our tank is smaller than it should be but it too will eventually be replaced. Time is everything when you move to a farm, just about everything you do will require a time commitment and no matter how badly you want it all done today, you will have to be patient.

As usual I have digressed. The point is this, if any of my readers feel a need to be concerned because of something I have written please take the time to address the concern via email or write a comment. I do take the time to read each email and comment and will clarify if there is any confusion. I am also very welcoming of suggestions, feel free to send them my way, I am in no way an expert and am willing to learn. :) Thanks

The heat and the mosquitoes

Last year I was fortunate to have gotten 5 fans of which 3 still work. They are my life and travel around the house with me :) So I guess they are more of an entourage, lol. During the day the mosquitoes are a bit better so we can open the windows without worry (most of our windows don't have screens, yet). Since this is the cooler part of spring/summer the breeze that blows is very refreshing. As the day wears on however the mosquitoes become unbearable, they are like swarms of bees and they are HUGE! They are so so big you can feel them land before they even attempt to suck your blood. It is hard to tell the difference between them and the flies sometimes :( If only there was a perfect time of year with no downsides . . .

Things are moving along

Curriculum for the upcoming year has been ordered, the chicks should arrive today (we got 100). I plan to get some seed potatoes in the ground this week, in our raised beds. Mag is milking beautifully, even though she has adopted 2 calves (Coffee and Spot), we still get a gallon a day. We got alfalfa pellets by the ton from the Co-op in Oxford and she is really enjoying her treats :) Coffee's cough seems to be improving without the newflor (?sp). So much to do so little time :) Well back to taxes I go so that we can get them out the door.

Small house vs large house

I remember when we lived in the mobile home and I hated how small it was, a mere 1200 sq ft. I fell in love with this house because it was 2500 sq ft, it seemed so perfect for a ever growing family. Last winter we were without propane for quite some time and discovered that a small space is fairly easy to heat and keep us all warm, this winter we cannot afford to use too much propane, so we ordered only the amount we used last year - which turned out to be all the tank would hold. We have been rationing it and utilizing our fire place - we've learnt a lot about fireplaces this year. With so many dead trees on the property we have an abundance of wood, that has made life a whole lot warmer than last year. On really cold nights we also turn on the heater but we try to bundle and keep close. I digress, I realize now that I really miss the coziness of the smaller house and should we move we will look at smaller houses, they are considerably easier to keep clean. Though a big kitchen is still a must have, lol. :)

One thing after another

Today I was excited to let you all know that the car has finally been pulled from the mud. We even get a new battery in the thing, unfortunately, it does not run, it starts but does not go. :( So to recap, we have 1 vehicle with a bad transmission and the other is incapacitated. Great! We were able to get another job but this new development may put an end to business as we cannot risk going too far with the transmission. I am going back to bed till thing pick up, it seems this day is a bust. :(

Having a blah day

Today was wildly uneventful, I am incredibly irritated and/or frustrated. I really need to have dinner and go to bed. Not a whole lot else to tell, homeschooling is going well, we are making calls and working on getting accounts for the business. We have some tests scheduled for next week. :) That's about it for now, I'm sure there is a lot more but I'm just not in the mood to think of it. :(



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first day of the rest of . . . maybe I'll wait for Monday

As of today I am officially unemployed. All the "i"'s were dotted and "t"'s crossed yesterday afternoon and then per company policy I turned in my badge and was escorted out of the building. (I kid you not). It was bittersweet, I was bummed leaving the people I'd worked with for nearly 3 years and felt bad that they would have even more work added to their already overworked lives but I was thrilled not to be tied to the company any longer.

I woke up this morning exhausted, as I usually do every Saturday morning. I considered the "this is the first day of the rest of my life" statement and decided to put it off till Monday when I should be fully rested from my months of 12 hr days. In the meantime I'm going back to bed and cuddle up next to my baby. :)



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Defining Self

Today I tendered my resignation and not a single member of management asked me to reconsider. I became more and more devastated as the day wore on and as I drove home. The thing about a long drive home is that it gives you time to think. I called dh and my sis and neither seemed sympathetic to my plight. I felt lost.

I sat outside after taking some watermelon to the chickens and gently was reminded of God's love. In that moment I realised that I had allowed myself (and by extension my self worth) to be defined by my job and almost completely the body of work I have done to this point. That they (management) seemed to reject it (me) and that I would no longer be there was a total blow to my ego and self esteem.

My dh had had a really tough time walking away from Wal-Mart and I didn't get it. Today I got it. Today I realised that I am happy to define my self by much higher standards than a paycheck or a single job. The work I do as a wife and mother are more lasting and rewarding than I could ever find anywhere else.

The work we do on our farm is more important to our growth spiritually and emotionally. In the year that we have been here we have all grown closer to each other and to God. It's not glamorous as being a Tax Analyst but I've never been the glamorous type anyhow. ;) I don't know what comes next and I'm excited to find out.

I am/was good at what I did, but I will be better being more than just that job. I don't need a fancy title to have value, I don't need a huge paycheck to have worth. Things will be tough and money will be tight and we will be happy working and being together. Thank you all for your continued prayers for our family.



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The fruit of our labor

You know how people always refer to the past as "the good old days", I have been thinking about that recently. Were those days really that good, better even? I mean look at how much we have accomplished, and how much needed change has come since those days. So what was so good about it that we long for those days once more?

It hit me as I stood watching the animals, children and garden. The lack of technology taught farmers/parents/society that they had to work hard and nurture the things and people around them, to receive the fruits of their labor. It wasn't so much that people were better back then as it is that we have lost that reality. We live in a microwave world where everything needs to be done in 60 seconds or less.

There is nothing on a farm that gets done that quick and it's the same with raising kids. We have forgotten that the effort is on us as parents (not teachers, youth pastors, day care facilities etc). Much like a garden we need to plant the seeds, but to do that we much plough the land first, that's not easy work. So how do we plough the land when it comes to our kids? We begin when they are babies and we take the time to play and laugh and hug and kiss and read and talk and walk and run and soon explore. But the most important is discipline.

All of these phases are necessary to prepare them to actively participate in learning. They cannot go through life without being disciplined or they will never learn self discipline. But it is not an overnight thing, it takes time and requires consistency on our parts - yet further learning of our own self discipline. We all want well behaved children, who work hard, enjoy life and grow to be successful. The trick is that we have to discipline ourselves, to discipline our children to stay the coarse and reap the fruit of our labor.



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Spaced out

I'm having one of those weeks where I constantly find myself spaced out, the length of time varies, as do the topics racing in my mind. I always seem to have had a lovely time though and am usually quite sad to leave and get back to the reality of the day's work. It's amazing how much more fun I'm having, oh to have the life in my head become the reality :) I'm working on it.



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Waiting

We are standing in faith that this is the path that God wants for us but jeez this waiting is exhausting. Money is . . . super duper tight, at this point I am avoiding even the free section on craigslist as I can't afford to use the gas to pick up whatever it is, that I probably don't need but always wanted, lol. Some day we will be caught up and maybe then we'll have a chance to breathe again, that'll be nice.

Dh has begun baking bread daily (it is SO good!!!!). Go figure, he had never baked bread before, I give him a recipe and he adapts it and makes it better. It is taking a lot of will power not to overindulge and blow my daily and weekly points. I'm going to be flying solo come the end of the month as my WW 3 month subscription comes to an end, self control will be key.


I have been more active that I have been in the past and am more helpful around the farm, I even went out and took card of the unsuspecting garden. We had a bunch of plants show up that were from last years pig pen and I have now transformed that area into the new garden spot. It is a great location. The grape vine is the only problem :( I'll have to put some thought into how I will get it moved over. We know that they are some watermelon among the vines, but the others are still a bit of a mystery cantaloupe, the mystery has been solved. :) I spoke with a friend who suggested that the mystery fruit might be cantaloupe and low and behold when I searched for an image of the plant it was the same one growing wild in my garden :) Luckily the kids, pigs and chickens LOVE cantaloupe!!!

Well I am working my way to the end of the week and frankly it can't be here fast enough. I pray that we will get caught up by the end of next week as this week we are receiving Dh's final paycheck. Wallyworld stopped our health insurance effective his last day of work :( Pray we will stay healthy till we get alternative coverage.

The car is still stuck in the mud thanks to the delightful storms. And finally Sammy is still not back home and I'm beginning to feel like he never will return. I'm not ok with that possibility (reality) at this point so I will go check the grain bins later and maybe a few of the holes around the property.



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Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Yesterday Sarah Palin stepped down as the Governor of Alaska. Personally all of the things she had to say seemed perfectly reasonable and I was surprised when I heard there would be more to come. Sure she has said some things that made me scratch my head and there are other times I wish she had a bit more polish, but then I remember that she's real. She's a real person with flaws, not trying to get my vote by lying to me pretending to be something she's not. She isn't just conservative in the way she talks, she is conservative in the way she chooses to live her life. She just happens to have a great sense of style and apparently she's distractingly beautiful. Whatever the reasons, I wish her and her family the best. God Bless.



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Back to Work: Day 1

Well I did it. I woke up, took a shower, fed the baby and went to work. Dh brought her to visit the skeleton crew at the office - long weekend and all. I sorted through the 1000+ emails, sadly no exaggeration. I discovered that my annual review was scheduled for today. YAY! NOT!! Whatever, I have been fighting with them all year, what's one more day, even if it is the first day back. Not new actually, it's better than the last time when my first meeting was scheduled to chew me out for not getting all the things they wanted done. Even though I had gotten the intermittent FMLA approved my "attendance issues" were used against me, again whatever. He talks about knowing the reasons behind the issue but never mentions it in the printed review, jerk. Unable to find any critical errors from the last year he uses one found while I was out on leave, that affected 1 customer from the entire state of NC. Funny how non-critical that seems, considering how many customers we have there and the fact that the error was not made by me. Can you tell I'm a bit ticked off? You know me so well :)

The rest of the day was wonderful. I bought some tops right after the baby was born that were a size too small, they didn't fit yet but I planned to lose the weight in time for my return to work. This morning I put one on and not only did it fit, but it had room, lots of room even in the arms, YAY!!! I have lost 32 pounds so far and I feel great. I am glad that I have stuck with Weight watchers and hope to be more consistent with my T-Tapp. I am hoping to start walk/running once I am a bit lighter and settle into a routine with work, home and farm.

Thank you all for your encouragement and continued prayers. Did I mention that my boss will be gone all month, it should be a nice transition back into work without the horrible pressure. :)



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mixed flock

We started to buy chickens a few weeks ago and as demand for eggs rose we have added to the flock. For some reason we have lost a few here and there and it is very distressing. Much like calves, the stress of travel and heat can be a big factor to their survival. We have been having 100+ days with high humidity. Last night dh didn't get the new birds locked down and 3 went astray, we haven't found them and as we were putting together a new nesting box I saw a fox scampering away :( Sammy may need some help keeping the meat birds safe, we have a couple sold and are hoping that things will pick up.

Kellogg is no longer the alpha rooster and has been less of an issue since his demotion. He seems to have taken on the role of sentry and guards the perimeter, crowing back and forth to update the status. it's a bit sad but the 2 new roosters are not aggressive to people and we prefer it that way. The ladies are adjusting to each other, now that there is a new nesting box I am hoping that they will be able to spread out more. The coop will need to be expanded, we are only 1/4 of the way to where I hope to be as far as the number of layers (23, soon to be 26). For now we will continue to build our customer base.


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It's not you, it's me

Usually when people say that it means it's totally you but not today. Lately I have been depressed as the 1st day of work looms. Actually it was supposed to be today, but I couldn't do it. My mind said I should but everything else in me said HECK NO!! There seems to be a notion that going back to work after the first baby is the hardest and that it gets easier. I'm here to tell you that that is not exactly true. My oldest and I were together for most of his first year until I started college, he is a very social child and so there was never any issues leaving him with a sitter or at a day care, he actually enjoyed it. This was a real relief to me and I was comfortable by the time my daughter came along. She had her brother and they were great. My second daughter spent most of her first year in her daddy's arms, a real challenge when he started working let me tell ya. I was going to school and we lived around the corner so my time away from her was limited. By the time I started working I was a bit more comfortable since my hubby had her. She was not the kind to stay with a sitter or go to a daycare without issue. I was home once more and finishing college with #4 and graduated when he was 18 months, leaving home started to become difficult. They were growing up so fast and I didn't want to miss it. #5 came along and I cried and cried as I headed back to work, it wasn't the kids that cost too much it was the debt that we had that made staying home seem impossible. Things got easier as she really loved being home with her daddy but looked forward to me coming home. She would take my shoes and purse at the door and walk me in, lol. I missed them dearly when I was at work, I cried at my desk as I knew that my working was necessary. They are getting so big and there is so much I miss. Now we have 6 and once again the time is here and I don't want to go, I don't want to miss a moment. I want to hold my babies and laugh at the little things that they do and the crazy things they say. So today I have delayed the inevitable and for one more week I will live, drinking in all the sites and sounds that I will come to miss and capture what I can with my camera. For one more week I can hope that it can be forever this way.

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Check the bill

I have a new appreciation for my cell phone provider, Alltel :) I received several calls over the last week and today I decided to answer. It was a really nice lady calling to solve the mystery of the high usage. Not sure what she was going about she finally said, your most recent bill is going out for over $700. I was immediately interested in finding out more, can't imagine why. She started looking deeper into the bill she noticed that there were a ton of data calls being made from my phone, I explained that that was not possible since I don't use those services. She agreed that something seemed off and transferred me to the billing to dispute the charges.

I don't like that guy at all, he basically told me that I would have to pay them to send a detailed bill or print it and send them a copy with the disputed charges. He refused to look any further. Luckily I lost the call (they do that a lot out here)and went to the website anyway. Finally I went to print and found that there were 170 pages :( I opted to download it instead, did I mention I love Excel too? :)

The sort and filter feature showed without a doubt that the mysterious data calls had used over 3000 minutes on my phone alone, of which close to 1500 were charged to my anytime minutes :( I called them back immediately and the sweet lady from India, downloaded the bill and saw what I did and without any more fuss issued a credit. She then advised me to talk to tech support to figure out why the problem occurred so that it would not happen again.

I am thankful for their vigilance, it is nice to know that there is an entire department dedicated to looking for these types of issues, with the goal of making sure that the customer is taken care of. They work on modifying plans to get you the best value so that you never have to get an outrageous bill. I'm impressed :)

The time is now

Since I had the baby it was time to start thinking about getting myself in better health. The big factor in this would be some MAJOR weight loss, we won't discuss how much but know that it is a lot. The point is I have opted, thanks to the recommendation of several momys who have tried and are currently using the program, for Weight Watchers. So far I have been really impressed by their online program and the flexibility. It's nice to have a program that is customizable to nursing moms. I'll let you know how it goes, I signed up for the 3 months plan and found an online coupon to waive the sign-up fee :) Have you tried Weight Watchers, what did you think?