Friday, August 15, 2008

I needed this today.

A friend of mine posted this and I wanted to share:

Is there a happily ever after? - J.Lord

When I was a little girl, I used to read a lot of fairy tales, look at Disney movies and believe that love was easy. You met someone, you fell in love and you lived happily ever after.I was set up. There is no "Happily ever after!" There is "Some days I think I want to strangle you!"," Some days I wonder I got married in the first place" and "Why me, God? WHY???"

Guess what people? Love is HARD! Not every day is roses. And when you have children, it gets even harder! It is so easy to get lost in the every day grind where it is about everything else except the two of you. There is work (and the crazy people you have to deal with there), children (Mom, I need to go to football, swimming..I want a Bionicle, please! and general "WAHHH! from baby), cooking, cleaning, shopping, going back to school, exercise, church and maybe some personal downtime if you lucky!

Notice I didn't include sex in that long list. Goodbye to those day-long marathon sessions you used to have when you were dating (SIGH!!!!). At this point, you are lucky if :
1. You have the time
2. If he has the time
3. If you are both awake
4. If you have the energy
5. The children are (FAST) asleep

This equates to once a week , 15 minutes tops if you are lucky. I ask you, how is this "Happily ever after?"

And yet, we get married.... and some of us stay married (like me). For me, I don't like the alternative - divorce. Messes you up, messes your kids up (for life) and generally it is not so much better going it alone.

Also, I love my husband. He has habits and personality traits that sometimes send me up a wall (and vice-versa) but I essentially love the essence of who he is. And though it is hard, and some days I feel like running out the door, I stay and try again because the good days are really good. A good day for me would be for us to stay in bed and talk until 4 AM about nothing in particular. Or for us to look at our children and smile because they are so beautiful to us. Or just being able to hold hands, even for a few seconds when we are walking down the street.

So if you are thinking about getting married, please don't suffer any delusions about what it is going to be like. There are going to be really bad days, you are going to quarrel and there will be days that you don't like each other. But, there will be really great days too and you will eventually rub down each other's rough edges like the sea does to a piece of glass. And it will get to the point where you just can't think of being anywhere else because where you and your husband is, is home.

I wish this were always a bed of roses but I can't say they are, not with a straight face anyway. Farm life is hard and it adds to the other pressures of a marriage. I'm told the first 6 months of adjusting are the hardest, I'll have to get back to you one that :) In the mean time we do the best we can and try to remember to love each other everyday :)

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